Sta.sh
HOW BIG IS YOUR BLADE?
How big is your blade, lad? How big is your mace?
You're tall and you're strong. You can see that I'm charmed.
But that counts for nothing until I see you armed.
How big is your mace?
I once knew a Troll, and he was a gent,
He carried me off to his lonely troll tent.
He was the man and I was the maid
And that's when I asked him,
'How big is your blade?'
I have to admit that I once loved an Orc.
But he had nice manners and could eat with a fork.
He asked me to stay, for bed and for board.
And that's when I asked him.
'How broad's your broad-sword?'
I fell for this Blood Elf, he looked like a girl,
His flowing blonde hair set my heart in a whirl.
I knew I was smitten, but I still needed to know.
And that's when I asked him,
'How long's your long-bow?'
A sweet, sad Undead, bony and thin,
He wooed me with whispers, my love for to win.
He offered me roses. My heart he did charm.
And that's when I asked him.
''How thick's your pole-arm?'
There was this Goblin, we started to barter.
He wanted more than a glance at my garter.
I gave him a price, with fees and with tax.
But I did have to ask him,
'How much is your axe?'
Finally a Tauren, with horns and a tail.
Nine hundred pounds of hide-covered male.
He looked down at me and I had to laugh.
You're broad and you're beefy,
So, how heavy's your staff?
And he said to me
This is my staff, lady, this is my mace.
I can see that it's bringing a blush to your face
Is it big enough? Let's find a dark place,
you can try out my mace...
| Deviant Login | Shop | Join deviantART for FREE  |
Take the Tour  |
From a performance point of view, the song was originally written with the first verse as a chorus between each character. That's why the last verse has a similar metre to the first. But how you perform it is entirely up to you. Dann also /emotes, hand gestures for each verse, like someone showing how big a fish is, if you get my meaning.
The Troll and Orc are measured like a (biggish) fish. The Blood Elf is an up-lifted pinkie finger, the Undead a drooping forefinger, and the Goblin a thumb, jerked upwards. The Tauren, of course, is hands getting wider and wider apart... The actions were addedfor thiose individuals who thought the song was actually about the size of a literal weapon...
Thank you again and please, let me know how it went?
May I borrow it for a Larp?